ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ sᴇᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴏɴᴇ's ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴs

[interpersonally]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

USERNAME:
IL SANGRE

text ❖ audio ❖ video

(this inbox is a choose-not-to-warn experience, please read at your own discretion.)

Comments

[holyposition]

How should I know? I'm not his babysitter, he's not my boyfriend.

[ So much easier to play it cool over text. ]

[interpersonally]

That was hint, my young one. Thank you for informing me of your theory about Dr. Strange. But, I think we've got to the bottom of the case.

Now. If you don't have a boyfriend or a doctor or a fake boyfriend who seems to always be clumsy, would you like to join me tonight for dinner?

[holyposition]

Maybe. I might have plans later. I'll let you know, though.

[ Hawk might call. 🥺 ]

[interpersonally]

Then let me know if you need anything else, unless it's a theory that the cook doesn't like your taste in sauce. I assure you. He doesn't care.

[holyposition]

Okay if I dont like the sauce he should have made a better one. thats an awful comparison.

[interpersonally]

You're right. Maybe don't eat in public at all. What if all your non-boyfriends find out about one another. And then complain to you!

[holyposition]

Yeah, I’m in constant terror that they’ll catch me in the bathroom changing ties every 20 minutes while I juggle multiple dates at the same time.

Come on. Harry knows it isn’t exclusive, he’s fucking other people too. And Quentin is fake, fine, you caught me. Just call me a whore, it would be more honest.

1/2

[interpersonally]

Esmelda did quit because you only wanted Mrs. Doubtfire on a loop. You said it was funnier in English.

Teo. It was a joke. I'm not backsliding. Your body, your choice, and every other modern sentiment. Your father's no boy scout.

[interpersonally]

If you do need help pulling off your triple-booked dates in the same restaurant, I've coordinated worse.

[holyposition]

I thought she quit because mom is a nightmare.

noted 😒

[interpersonally]

Your mom never liked Sally Field.

[holyposition]

She probably thought Norma Rae was offensive to rich people.

[interpersonally]

She liked Soap Dish.

[holyposition]

Really?

Kevin Kline is kind of hot in it.

[ If he's gonna be involved in his son's love life, he's inviting this kind of commentary. ]

[interpersonally]

I liked Elisabeth Shue.

But, you're not wrong about Kevin Kline. Also, A Fish Called Wanda.

( Also, Jamie Lee Curtis. )

[holyposition]

I pretended to, before I was out.

[ Before he should have been watching any of these movies. Boarding school boys... ]

[interpersonally]

If, Kevin Kline, then Robert Downey Jr.

[holyposition]

[ Not the Tim Laughlin-coded one... ]

You like twinks but you turned down Koby?

1/2

[interpersonally]

In that movie, he was a twink?

[interpersonally]

I'm not attracted to a friend of my son's, and in no world would I take Koby up on either offer he made.

[holyposition]

Borderline. But kind of. He looks better now.

[ Now that he's in his 40s. Someone is gonna love the Iron Man press tour next year... ]

I was kidding, papa.

[interpersonally]

Ha. Ha.

[holyposition]

We both need to lighten up if we're gonna make it through the summer. Come on. It was kind of funny.

[interpersonally]

10%. Room for improvement.

I love you.

[holyposition]

🙂

[ Not there yet. But maybe eventually. ]